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 My Quilting Addiction Explained

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golo
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Number of posts : 13244
Age : 69
Location : Grafton ND
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:39 pm

check this out... Found online at: http://qcn.tripod.com/humor.htm


Scientific Study Reveals Hypnotizing Effect
A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of breed of women known as 'Quilters'.

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants 'buy me, cut me, sew me!" In order to overcome the so-called 'feeding frenzy effect' that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones!).

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been my experience that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for a while".

(Originally published in August 1997 in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild Newsletter)

(Golo I had to paste this into your message, its too funny!!)

_________________
So you see, imagination needs moodling - long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering.
"Brenda Ueland "

Golo

Dreams are wishes the heart makes... I dream of lots of quilting
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Jill



Number of posts : 4400
Age : 67
Location : SE Ohio
Registration date : 2010-11-15

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:01 pm

Golo, I liked the "71 reasons to buy fabric" although I must admit that most of them made perfect sense to me....am I an addict too? I certainly hope so!!!
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quiltermarynel



Number of posts : 11559
Age : 72
Location : Trinity Co. California
Registration date : 2008-09-03

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:46 am

I know that I am, but I was a fabriholic long before I was a quilter.

My DH goes around saying that I am nuts because I buy perfectly good fabric, cut it into little pieces then sew it together again. I used to say that the same applied to his wood, wire and pipe purchases, but somehow he never heard me.
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TxMaryQuilts
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Number of posts : 9696
Age : 57
Location : Heart of Texas
Registration date : 2008-09-03

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:23 am

Yeah, they never hear us but they think they are being so cute and clever. If i hear that joke one more time from my DH, I'll sew his mouth shut.

_________________
TxMaryQuilts    

Always in a Texas state of mind.
http://s1309.beta.photobucket.com/user/TxQuilter59/library/#/user/TxQuilter59/library/?&_suid=136183123861005557608880981697
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memaw4



Number of posts : 9468
Age : 61
Location : South East Ohio
Registration date : 2008-09-03

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:05 am

TxMaryQuilts wrote:
Yeah, they never hear us but they think they are being so cute and clever. If i hear that joke one more time from my DH, I'll sew his mouth shut.


I'd love to sew my hubby's shut at times!


I'll wait till the sewingroom is finished though!
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Gimpy Cat
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Number of posts : 20322
Age : 47
Location : Edge of The World - Tasmania, Australia
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:56 pm

Oh come on give the guys a break, surely you would'nt sew their mouths shut and waste good thread when you could use their own tools and either staple or nail gun their mouth shut?? You need to distance yourself from being overly emotional and think clearly, never waste thread you don't need to lmao

_________________
"My will is mine.....I shall not make it soft for you"  Aeschylus, Agamemnon
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Jill



Number of posts : 4400
Age : 67
Location : SE Ohio
Registration date : 2010-11-15

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:15 pm

Oh GC, my sentiments exactly. As a matter of fact, I think I'd like using the staple gun. DH has a compressor and I think that makes it work better. I cry on Memaw's shoulder all the time because my DH wants to be by my side every second he's home. I tell her that I can't even stand being with myself that much, I don't know how he can either. She keeps telling me I'm going to have a difficult time when he retires in two years....and I know that's true.
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TxMaryQuilts
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Age : 57
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PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:55 pm

Nail gun then. The big one. Twisted Evil

_________________
TxMaryQuilts    

Always in a Texas state of mind.
http://s1309.beta.photobucket.com/user/TxQuilter59/library/#/user/TxQuilter59/library/?&_suid=136183123861005557608880981697
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hummerlou



Number of posts : 3935
Age : 62
Location : Taylor, TX USA
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:26 pm

Sounded like good reasons to buy fabric to me!!! Now DH has to get a job so I can buy some more... :roll:
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PrincessKris



Number of posts : 1439
Age : 40
Location : Dayton, OH
Registration date : 2008-09-06

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:23 pm

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH I am about to die from laughter!! lmao I mean it!! I like the idea of using the air compressor and nail gun on DH's mouth! He doesn't ask about fabric and my addiction though. Just asks when I think I will be able to use all of it up so he can have more space. YEAH that is soooo going to happen. He is dreaming, I think!
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Gimpy Cat
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Number of posts : 20322
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Location : Edge of The World - Tasmania, Australia
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PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:38 pm

hummerlou wrote:
Sounded like good reasons to buy fabric to me!!! Now DH has to get a job so I can buy some more... :roll:

Shocked Harris got a job??!!!! Shocked Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Oh wow, what, when, where - Im so Cheesy dance to read that Louanne Hug

_________________
"My will is mine.....I shall not make it soft for you"  Aeschylus, Agamemnon
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hummerlou



Number of posts : 3935
Age : 62
Location : Taylor, TX USA
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Sat Mar 05, 2011 9:40 am

O no, no job yet! Still applying everywhere.
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Gimpy Cat
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Number of posts : 20322
Age : 47
Location : Edge of The World - Tasmania, Australia
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:20 pm

big sigh darn I read wrong, had a terrible headache yesterday, sorry, what a bummer. Here's hoping he finds one soon, someone out there has to realise what a gold nugget employee he is and snatch him up!

_________________
"My will is mine.....I shall not make it soft for you"  Aeschylus, Agamemnon
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hummerlou



Number of posts : 3935
Age : 62
Location : Taylor, TX USA
Registration date : 2008-09-02

PostSubject: Re: My Quilting Addiction Explained   Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:49 pm

I sure hope so. :roll:
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