My Quilting Addiction Explained

check this out... Found online at: http://qcn.tripod.com/humor.htm


Scientific Study Reveals Hypnotizing Effect
A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of breed of women known as 'Quilters'.

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants 'buy me, cut me, sew me!" In order to overcome the so-called 'feeding frenzy effect' that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones!).

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been my experience that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for a while".

(Originally published in August 1997 in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild Newsletter)

(Golo I had to paste this into your message, its too funny!!)

Golo, I liked the "71 reasons to buy fabric" although I must admit that most of them made perfect sense to me....am I an addict too? I certainly hope so!!!

I know that I am, but I was a fabriholic long before I was a quilter.

My DH goes around saying that I am nuts because I buy perfectly good fabric, cut it into little pieces then sew it together again. I used to say that the same applied to his wood, wire and pipe purchases, but somehow he never heard me.

Yeah, they never hear us but they think they are being so cute and clever. If i hear that joke one more time from my DH, I'll sew his mouth shut.

TxMaryQuilts wrote:

Yeah, they never hear us but they think they are being so cute and clever. If i hear that joke one more time from my DH, I'll sew his mouth shut.

I'd love to sew my hubby's shut at times!


I'll wait till the sewingroom is finished though!

Oh come on give the guys a break, surely you would'nt sew their mouths shut and waste good thread when you could use their own tools and either staple or nail gun their mouth shut?? You need to distance yourself from being overly emotional and think clearly, never waste thread you don't need to

Oh GC, my sentiments exactly. As a matter of fact, I think I'd like using the staple gun. DH has a compressor and I think that makes it work better. I cry on Memaw's shoulder all the time because my DH wants to be by my side every second he's home. I tell her that I can't even stand being with myself that much, I don't know how he can either. She keeps telling me I'm going to have a difficult time when he retires in two years....and I know that's true.

Nail gun then. The big one.

Sounded like good reasons to buy fabric to me!!! Now DH has to get a job so I can buy some more... :roll:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH I am about to die from laughter!! I mean it!! I like the idea of using the air compressor and nail gun on DH's mouth! He doesn't ask about fabric and my addiction though. Just asks when I think I will be able to use all of it up so he can have more space. YEAH that is soooo going to happen. He is dreaming, I think!

hummerlou wrote:

Sounded like good reasons to buy fabric to me!!! Now DH has to get a job so I can buy some more... :roll:

Harris got a job??!!!! Oh wow, what, when, where - Im so to read that Louanne

O no, no job yet! Still applying everywhere.

darn I read wrong, had a terrible headache yesterday, sorry, what a bummer. Here's hoping he finds one soon, someone out there has to realise what a gold nugget employee he is and snatch him up!

I sure hope so. :roll: